Thursday, January 30, 2014


I took some time off this month as you can tell.  It's January.  It's cold (sometimes).  Mostly it's winter--literally, of course, but also in my heart (sorry Avett, stole you're line). It's time to hibernate...hunker down...WAIT.  Winter can be so sweet in the good times -- warm and cozy, an opportunity to just "be" with those we love the most.  It can also be lonely. And truth be told, that's where I am.

Weird weather and sickness have had us stuck a lot. We've yet to really get back in a routine since Christmas. I could use some routine, some predictability, and definitely something to do to pass the time.  I don't think i've ever been so thankful for all the toys we have in the house--especially all the new ones from birthdays and Christmas.  We've spent SO much time in the house this month--those toys have been worth every penny as a distraction to keep my kids happy and busy.

My devotional/study i have periodically referred to over this deployment labels this time "the desert of enough" and "a mountain for one".  I go back and forth from feeling discouraged and overwhelmed with all of the responsibility on my shoulders to pulling back and disconnecting from life--just waiting it out.  Neither of these are especially fun stages...but for sure, they are a part of the ride.

The kids are struggling more this month than they have been.  Nora especially.  She misses her Daddy.  Anything that is new, she'll immediately tell me 'we have to show Daddy'.  Anything she makes, she tells me 'Daddy will like that'.  Any good food i make, she tells me 'Daddy will want some'.  Any fun that is to be had, she tells me Daddy will want to do it too.  It seems he's in her thoughts all the time.

It snowed today. I wanted it to be a fun day for us.  The reality was something else.  Nora was in complete tears after about 45 minutes wanting her Daddy to come home.  It started all in her own head this morning when i went upstairs to get them, and Nora told me she wanted Daddy to come home so he could play in the snow with her.  All i could think was, how does she even know that's what Daddy's do? We've never played in the snow before. But she knows. Then our friends come over to sled with us and their Daddy did just get home.  I assume what was fun the first few minutes playing with Uncle Jake, really just turned out to be a huge kick of reality to Nora that her Daddy wasn't here to play with her.  She was sobbing by the time we came in.

We're not supposed to wish our days away.  But i'm not gonna lie--i'm over it.

On a good note. There's plans in the making for coming home.  Tentative flight dates, replacements will be there soon to be trained.  Mike and I are planning trips and projects.  We even bought some concert tickets this week.  It's coming.  I just gotta keep holding on in the mean time.

I have a few pics of Mike/Afghan...he doesn't take many really, just a few for the kids every now and then around stuff he thinks they'll like.  He sends us plane pictures a lot because he knows they like them.
working hard--doing i don't know what ;)
 i don't know what this is either...but the kids think it's cool :)
 planes, dust, etc

1 comment:

Martha Jo Jones said...

You are doing a great job Jesse! To me, you are as much a hero as Mike. You're the one at home, working your butt off to keep the household running, and raising great children that miss their daddy. I admire your courage and dedication. Keep the faith and know that you, Mike, and those cute kiddos are remembered in thoughts and prayers.