Finding Our Balance

If you don't already know, either through personal experience, or through observation...Babies really do rock your world.

I mean this really isn't a novel revelation or anything--in no way did we assume that after having the twins our life would be just as it was before. If anything we haven't had any expectations of what life would be like as parents--we're just kinda playing it on the fly right now and learning as we go.

Now we are 5 months in--so far so good. These past few months have been solely devoted to taking care of our newborns. Ya know, feeding, diapering, figuring out sleep, getting routines in place, etc. Not that we are experts after 5 months, but I do think we've got a good handle on things.

So I guess you could say if our pregnancy journey had a TO-DO List, it would look a little something like this...
Step 1: Get pregnant--CHECK
Step 2: Have baby (or babies)--CHECK
Step 3: Come home, learn those babies and get through the first few weeks--CHECK
Step 4: Establish a routine--CHECK
Step 5: Insert our "old selves" into our new lives --IN PROGRESS

If you haven't noticed from our blogs recently we are starting to venture out a little bit more and do some of the things we used to do--pre kids. As I said above when we found out we were having twins any expectations i may have had about having children went away--i really had no idea what to expect other than just knowing that we'd handle whatever would come. I always had thought we'd have a baby spend a few weeks getting adjusted and then just strap 'em on (i have always imagined i'd be a babywearing mommy) and just keep on doing what we do. You may think that idea was a bit idealistic, but i've seen plenty of families do it.

So anyway the twins came and feedings seemed to take up about a third of my day alone (literally i was feeding at least 8 hours) and then there was diapers, laundry, baths, keeping the house in some sort of order, trying to get the babies to sleep, and trying to get some sleep ourselves. Leaving the house to do ANYTHING just really didn't seem worth it--especially when i went in somewhere only to have both babies start crying and everyone looking at me funny.

When Mike left for Cali the babies were still so small, but since he has returned they have changed so much. They are so much more aware now and can handle longer periods of awake times. Other things are starting to catch their attention and keep them entertained. Most of all it seems that we can just look at their faces and watch them learning and soaking everything in. It's really quite amazing. So along with the babies growing and changing, we are learning how to take them out and do some of the things we used to like to do. We've made a few beach trips recently, and this past weekend we went on a small hike to a waterfall. We've also eaten out at restaurants, stayed for lunch after church on Sundays and i've met up with some friends for the day.

Mike being home has made the biggest difference. Knowing we don't have a lot of time left before he leaves has made us really get out and do stuff. It's also easier with him home simply because we aren't outnumbered by babies--and even with the extra set of hands it can still be hard, but at least with Mike, he's the dad..the babies are as much his responsibility as mine so i don't feel like i am inconveniencing him or bothering him when we are out. And most importantly everything is just more fun with him home. I love our family--i love getting out and doing things as a family and i wish it could always be like this.

Not only are we finding new things to do as a family we are each finding our way doing some things as individuals and as a couple again. Mike has started back up with his bike riding and is taking some time to do a few guy things with friends. I am also taking some "mommy time" --going shopping, bunco nights with the FRG girls, and i'm hoping to fit in a pedicure soon! Together, thanks to some great friends and family, we have had a couple of date nights and specifically we went our battalion luau this past weekend. It's so important to have time for each other too!

Being parents is absolutely wonderful--really it's everything i could have ever wished for, but it's exhausting and sometimes you walk by a mirror and look at yourself and you think "is that really me with that greasy hair, those baggy eyes, and spit up stains all over your clothes?" This past few weeks, getting out of the house, dressing up, doing fun things as a family and then also having time to myself has been so great. I feel like me again, but a better version--the "mommy version".

So I guess that's it for now ~our quest for finding balance in our lives~ Trying to be both 'involved new parents' while trying not to lose out on the activities that we used to do and the interests that we used to have...the things that make us who we are.